I hesitate to ever speak my mind because I always seem to offend. This is not intended to offend, I just need to speak my mind. I understand that things come up and this is not meant to make people feel bad. I just need to express how I feel.
Is this bad luck or what: about 70-80% of the dates we have planned since we had Kate have fallen through. Yeah, 70-80%.
Sometimes the reasons are totally legitimate like people get sick. I say THANK YOU for not sharing!!!! Here are the reasons though that I love:
"I forgot"
Me:"Are you still able to watch the girls tonight?" Them: "No, I have other plans."
My favorite: "Someone else needs me to babysit tonight, and they REALLY NEED IT."
hmmmm....
When I have asked people to babysit I've gotten shot down...a lot. Here are some of the reasons why:
"I have grandkids." hmmm...
"You need to have your family do it."
"I'm just too busy this week. Ask me again someday." (Do you know how many times I babysit when I'm exhausted and extremely busy and it is absolutely inconvenient?)
My favorite: "I have to clean my house." I've gotten this one more times than I am willing to mention.
We tried planning 2 dates this week. They both fell through. I just am at the point where I can't take it any more. I'm the youngest (yeah I know that explains a lot) and I'm just not the best at parenting. We love our girls so much and we want to be really good parents. We just need a break now and then to refocus and be more refreshed to be better parents and to keep our marriage going strong.
I don't have family here. I don't have anywhere to go to put my feet up and have a break for a few minutes. I feel like I'm all alone sometimes. Yeah, I know my perspective is skewed and it needs help. I just feel like I'm drowning and can't even focus enough to try and change my perspective!
We want more children....LOTS...but I have no idea how to do this all alone? Heaven help us!
Meet up with Malou 2026
7 months ago
6 comments:
We should work out a babysitting exchange. David and I rarely (or never) go on dates and I really want to! Seriously, we should do this. Give me a call!!!! If you ever need a sitter call me!
We too have had a lot of trouble trying to find someone to watch kids. (We TRY not to overwhelm our mothers because we know they have other grandkids.) I know how frustrating it can be, and I don't think you're a bad mom for wanting/needing a break. I feel like I am a BETTER mom after those rare times alone with my husband. Here are some suggestions (they are humbly offered, and I mean no offense, I really want to help):
1. Sometimes, though difficult, you have to ask a mia maid or even a beehive. I know it's hard to trust them, and I think you have a shortage in your ward don't you? I have a short list of some PHENOMENAL girls who LOVE to babysit. Call me.
2. I am ALWAYS willing to help. I've only turned Kristen down when really sick. It would never overwhelm me to have your cute girls over and my kids would love it too. I know it's hard to not have your family here, but we want to be your family too and are willing to help! Really!
WE totally love you guys and I think you are an awesome, talented, courageous, and beautiful woman and mother.
Uh I am not just saying this but . . . I pretty much love babysitting . . . and I am pretty sure that you haven't asked me! I promise I wouldn't make up a lame excuse either.
Hey, just bring them over to my house. We don't mind. Ha Ha. It is true, you really have to take care of yourself to feel like a good mom. Good luck, I really wish I could help. Maybe in the next 20 years we will be back and I can help. Keep your chin up, you are doing great!
I sometimes feel the same way and I live close to family but somehow something always seems to come up. anyway I would love too watch them sometimes for you I am sure my kids would love playing with them. good luck with everything
We rarely ask adults to watch our girls. When the twins were babies, we'd get two of the young women in our ward to watch the kids. Now that they are a little older (and our babysitters are a little older too), we just have one of the girls babysit. Young women are often really good with young kids. They will play with them, and not just plug in a movie. Ask around- there should be some good beehives or mia maids around.
We don't have family anywhere close either. It's important you get some time just you and your hubby. And if you are going crazy, it's ok to ask the hubby to watch the kids so you can do an errand by yourself. I will go to the library to pick out a book, or run to Safeway for milk and those 20 minutes alone allow me to have a break and be a better mom.
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